Narratives of Healing - Post #1

Through a glass darkly (1 Corinthians 13:12)

13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

KJV

We may be viewing life through a dark glass with an incomplete knowledge of what is going on with our community and the world but with love and hope we can be active in creating a society with new meaning guided by faith and our experience in this pandemic. The narratives of healing initiative is an attempt to “crowdsource” input to create narratives of healing. This activity deals with the so-called 6th stage of the well-known stages of grieving which is reaching the point of transcendence from a crisis and the development of meaning.  A different way to view this process is through the process of dealing with a disruption in normal life ultimately reaching transcendence.

Order  - the world we were used to and were comfortable in.

Dismay and desire for restitution – a desire to return to what we had just as it was.

Chaos- realization that things will not be the same

Transcendence and meaning – creating and living a new and perhaps better world of our making with the knowledge and experience obtained during the pandemic while keeping a wary eye on the past.

Never in our memory has an entire planet shared the experience of a pandemic crisis.  As a global society and as individuals we are not always synchronized on the same timeline. Almost like an accordion or a “slinky” we experience at one time a dread of a coming threat to our lives and at other times and in other areas we are given a window into our future from people, countries and regions emerging from the peak of the pandemic. It is understood that people have righteous anger at and are hurting from circumstances, political leaders and political actions as well as a sense of hopelessness.  These are important and valid feelings and concerns and the hurt is ever-present.

One thing seems to be clear  - we will have a new normal. We continue to grieve for a world and society that seems gone and seem to be in chaos.  While we have many attachments and fond memories of the world we knew, there were many problems and lost paths there as well.  Very rarely does a society have a chance to remake and reimagine their future.  We do not have to be passive victims of our circumstances and devolve into endless cycles of blame and judgment.  We have an alternative to create meaning from our experience and celebrate and emphasize the realizations, discoveries and revelations we understand from this pause in our formerly busy, frenetic lives.

Through this survey process, we are trying to create meaning from our collective experience.

Thanks to the 14 people to date who engaged with the survey so far and as you read the summarized, excerpted comments I hope you will feel motivated to contribute. 

A word on process: we have redacted identifying features within the comments to keep the anonymity and have not included contributions unrelated or tangential to the specific question posed.  I hope you will gain the insight provided in the contributions in the form presented below.  The initial contributions for the first question “What is easier now” are below. As more people contribute we can update the answers, perhaps date stamping them to see how people have evolved in their feelings over time. The initial entries for the other questions will be presented over the next few weeks.

What is easier now?

  • It is easier now to see the deep fissures in our country than ever before.  But you have to be looking.

  • It is easier now to do nothing because we say we cannot because we have to 'stay in place'.

  • Saving money, food, less trash and recycling

  • Finances. I still have a job but I don't have the expenses of commute or eating breakfast or lunch on the go. I am not spending money on recreation such as golf, bowling, hiking. I am using less gas for my car.

  • It's easier to get plenty of sleep and not feel guilty about it.

  • I get to sleep late ('til 7:00 most mornings!). I can sometimes stay up past 9:00.

  • Shorter commute. :-) (& less $ on gas!)

  • I feel we're able to reach out to our sons more easily now, without them feeling we're being too … needy? pushy?

  • Using Zoom v Google Hangout or Global Connect.  It still lacks the tactile element of a meeting but it will do for now.

  • Doing hard things such as staying put and thinking through a problem before I think of a solution.  What caused the problem, is it recurrent, when does it happen, etc? As an example, normal house/yard problems have to be figured out using what we have since we do not go into stores.

  • Thinking about words or phrases used in the media or from a podium.  Phrases like 'precious life lost' or 'liberate'.  I do not gloss over those words as I would have before COVID. I hope to have this become a habit.

  • Wearing a mask.  When I worked in Asia, I had a hard time with 'the mask' because I didn't think it necessary. Now, I love them and have a couple of them to match the outfits.

  • Making those masks - I have made 40 of them and sent them to Relief Crafters of America for them to distribute.  The making of them gets easier all the time.  And I now have the elastic.

  • I'm not sure that anything is easier than 2 months ago.  I have found that I'm having a hard time staying focused when I try to read a book. I have several that I want to read, and one that I want to finish, but can't seem to concentrate. It's frustrating.

  • I find it easier to say no to non-critical obligations.  Concern for health and life puts some activities in perspective and they just don't seem to have the same urgency anymore.

  • I find it easier to understand the plight of people living on the margins of society.

  • The increase in virtual gatherings makes me feel more connected while being less physically mobile, but than I have become used to less physical mobility over the past three years.

  • Baking!  I've taught myself how to make a delicious loaf of enriched whole wheat bread that slices perfectly for sandwiches.  I feel like a real pioneer woman. 

  • I've also learned how to be alone. I am working from home, but with only the cats to talk to in real-time, it's challenging. 

  • I am learning to embrace the quiet and find peace in it. 

  • I've also had to learn how to truly tackle only those issues over which I have direct influence. there is very little I can directly change. 

  • I'm learning to let go and let things happen as they must.  I am finding some peace in that as well.

  • I'm an introvert, so having more alone time and more distant social interaction has been good for me.

  • I know some people are really struggling with this, but for the first time society seems to be organized in a way that is truly comfortable for me. The constant pressure to belong to groups, or spend time in groups, is magically gone. Because we have social media and the technology that we do today, I can still connect with people but from a comfortable distance.

  • I am also focusing on myself, and my own self-care in a way I have not done in a very, very long time. For the first time in literally years, I'm not doing anything much for anyone else, so I'm first in line for my own time and attention.

  • Reflection is easier for me as I am not scheduling my day away.  While I have to prepare for those same meetings via video conferencing, I do not have to travel an hour each way.  So, I get to reflect.  I get to think deeply about one subject and get into it with my own voice, not through a pundit's voice on a podcast.  I get to learn my own perspective on that one subject.

  • It is easier to say 'yes' now. Just because there is no excuse.

  • It's easier to receive now.  Because we have to. We need the help.

  • It is much easier finding time to relax. I have been a very busy person. And by most standards, I'm still very busy. But I don't have to go go go anymore.

  • I'm the only one in my house who leaves. My wife and daughter stay home, except to go out for walks to exercise. So I go to the grocery store, check the mail, go to the bank, etc. But there is no traffic. It's nice to get out of the house. So all if it seems so much easier now.

  • Because of all the free time I have, I’ve gotten to catch up on long-standing projects, like getting my home office organized. I'm working my way through all those "around the house" chores that always wanted to do but just couldn't find the time or the energy for in the past.

  • It's a very silly thing, but it is much easier to do the dishes. We linger at the end of our meals now. No one leaves early "to go something." When I finally get up to do the dishes and clean the kitchen, I don't have to race to get it done. It's a chore, but when so many other chores fall by the wayside, the ones that are left actually seem more enjoyable and easy to me.

  • I am sleeping better due to the fact that I am exercising more

  • With time, I have learned to accept what is happening with this virus and conform to a new way of life. Now I find myself being more present and enjoy a slower pace of life. Life is easier